“Nevertheless I have somewhat against you, because you have left your first love.” Revelation 2:4
Goal oriented, task in hand, and as usual, in a hurry, I was moving some things that I had previously moved in a former task. True to my character, I had been doing the same things then as I was doing now… but something happened! I found myself on my backside, looking up at where I had just been. Only now, I was experiencing pain!
I have lots of tools, things and stuff… and 2 garages to store that stuff. But I have not learned to apply wisdom, experience and the necessary organizational skills to MANAGE that stuff. Having placed a stepladder in a place I thought might be good, I needed it, used it, then hurriedly put it back in a different place, right over where I’d thrown my balled-up extension cord! Ladder, grab, trip… FALL!
I could easily dismiss the entire incident as being stupid, reckless, or foolish. But apparently those words mean nothing to me. When I say them to myself, or if I hear them in some form from someone else, I tend to brush them off. “Eh… I’ll live,” I’ll say. Often I go on to do stupid again! But I choked when the Holy Spirit hinted me a question, “why do you keep committing suicide?”
If the look on my face were recorded and shown back to me, I couldn’t have been more shocked! “SUICIDE? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT JESUS?” But in my relationship with Him, I know when He is serious. I can spiritually see His arms folded, his eyes cast down at me, one eyebrow raised. He did not even need to speak a word! He had already done so MANY times before.
A trip, a fall, a stumble, a setback… they are all the same things. Moving in a forward direction USUALLY indicates a goal of progress. A mission to be accomplished. In Jesus’ business with people, His Book has been written, preached, taught, dissected and mediated upon for millennia! His plans and intentions are clear. He wants my heart and attention 24/7. To NOT give it… is suicide!
Last night, up in the attic, after the ladder incident, I sat on top of a box to change my AC filter, which I’d put off 2 months ago! I had just gotten started when I heard a CRASH! Having been in a hurry to throw some stuff up there 6 months ago, I set a picture, with a glass face, face down on top of a box! THANKFULLY the shattered glass now lay on top of another painting! I’ll just clean that up later!
This morning one of the sheep under my watch texted me, “I have learned that the more I seek Him, the more He reveals Himself. The less I do, the more trouble I’m in!” Coincidence? Or is the student teaching the teacher about suicide! Jesus loves me enough to warn and TELL me his plans, His Father’s will and goals for me individually… and the Church corporately. He expects love back in the form of obedience!
Are YOU heading toward a suicidal crash by putting other people, stuff and things before the Love of your Savior? Because He’s asking! Apparently He holds a grudge in that area… wouldn’t you agree?
