“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12

“Where do I go NOW?” I thought. I thought about it because I genuinely didn’t KNOW! It wasn’t like I could look around the room for advice either, since Dickie was the only other guy there. And HE’S no help at all when it comes to communication, or direction. He just lays there! Which at the moment, wasn’t giving me direction since HE was the REASON I was in the room.

Dickie is special to me and our Church. The 74 year old man with Cerebral Palsy lay twisted in a ball on the bed in front of me. Sometimes moaning, crying, laughing or trying to tell me something. I could understand only the first 2. I had read the Bible to him, prayed, made small talk, and even told him some jokes. I talked about courage and his future Hope. 45 minutes later… I had nothing and felt like a fool!

Leaning over him I put my face 8 inches from his. We locked eyes and I just let him know the truth. “Pal… I really love you, but I just don’t know what to do or say right now. But my heart aches and, if I did, I would.” My last prayer felt like it didn’t even hit the ceiling. Then, having another appointment, I left. As I reached the door I looked back… he was watching me.

There are times I feel SO very small. Though I have never captained a ship, reality says otherwise.  AND… reality tells me that I am NO expert! If my life is a ship, I must admit, I spend MOST of the time in the fog! Looking around, it’s getting foggier! Bravely going into Dickie’s room thinking I might help left me feeling helpless. I hate helpless!

When the real world reached the parking lot, Jesus caught up with me. Remembering a story about leaving the 99 to find the lost one, it hit me I was him. I shoulda known He’d be there. And while His presence did nothing to make me FEEL better, He DID help! TREMENDOUSLY! He helped me to see once more, that ‘I’ am NOT the Captain of my own ship!

There’s an old saying from a wise man who stated, “in my life I have learned 2 things: 1. There IS a God And 2. I am not Him.” With His hand on my heart and His eyes on me, Jesus reminds me of the fact that “HE IS” And that seeing, knowing and understanding everything is NOT part of my job description. It never will be! The best I will ever do in a fog will be to lean in close, and look deep into His face. He’ll manage the rest!  Dickie didn’t need advice!  He just needed a friend!

How close are YOU to the Captain?