“If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.” 2 Corinthians 11:30

Yesterday I played pretend! I have to admit that it wasn’t for fun, but out of necessity. In reality, I subconsciously KNEW I was playing. But the whole point of playing ‘pretend,’ is to make it look real…right down to the smallest detail. The outside uniform, the actions…even the tiniest inflections in the voice! Arrrrrrrrr! I was playing the role of pastor SO well, the only one who knew I was really gaming…was ME! Oh…and God of course!

Now might be a good time to throw out the “But everybody does it!” card. But then I’d be stepping out of my pretended role! And in the game of pretend, even excuses can give one away. NO!!!! I’ve got to keep going…and pretend…and not stop. I gotta be BRAVE and STRONG and FEARLESS and NOBEL! ESPECIALLY NOBEL! That way, everybody seeing me will actually BELIEVE that they believe me! Which is the whole point of the game. Isn’t it?

But for right now, I’m in a self-imposed time out. Because sitting here, alone at my computer, I don’t have to pretend. In fact, I already know God, the one I am MADDENINGLY in love with, would prefer I NOT play right now. And what a relief!!!

These days, acting heroic has been tough! It’s kind of like soldiers who have prepared for battle. Even though ‘Boot Camp’ has been perfected to match the intensity of battle, no one REALLY knows how they will perform until they find themselves facing the REAL thing. That’s why they call it REALITY! Apparently, playing pretend is supposed to help!

Sometimes I have to write when I don’t feel like it. Or preach, or encourage, or help…often under the pressure of a time clock. And though I REALLY don’t like THAT part, I’ve played pretend enough that I’ve even gotten good at beating the clock! For now though, it’s just me and God. And I gotta confess. I’m FEELING pretty puny down here!

Pastor, husband and father are three of the biggest roles I play. Having done them for a LONG time, there ARE times when “ya gotta fake it till ya make it!” Times that require, if not the ACTUAL wisdom and aura of a great leader, at least the APPEARANCE. But as the song says, “Truth be told, the truth is rarely told!” So I pretend.

I’m not as wise, staunch, faithful, joyful, brave, clean and reverent as some people THINK I am…sometimes. Sometimes I am just plain scared out of my mind! I get confused, angry, lost, hurt and have even been known to lose faith! Although thanks to ‘Pretend,’ most people don’t notice. But me and God know. And we’re talkin’! I LOVE talking to God…the ‘Real Deal…’ because He REALLLLLLLY loves me…even when I’m pretending!