“But what does it matter?” Philippians 1:18
Lately, I have been discouraged because of the lack of fruit in getting what I want! So much so, I haven’t really given it much attention lately. But yesterday I reached my breaking point… and it really got me down! So much so, I have decided to just give up altogether! MY desired goal was not being achieved. And since hopefulness had fallen to frustration so often, I finally have to just admit it…I quit!
For several months now I have prepared, paid, pained and planted a couple varieties of squash in my backyard. I have watched as the seeds sprouted into beautiful green vines, then cheered as big yellow flowers formed, only to have them shrivel up and fall off! Still determined, I tried again…then again! Nothing! It is time to face reality!
Over the years I have made attempts at growing tomatoes, peppers and even avocados. These only resulted in wasted money, time and effort. My latest escapade with squash only proves, once again, that when it comes to farming…I’m a dabbling failure! The position I am now in has forced me to make a decision I wasn’t prepared to make. But for my own sanity and purpose, I must make it!
I don’t believe my reading the 1st Chapter of Philippians was an accident. Having been a Jesus’ guy for so long, I don’t even question IF He is trying to tell me something. I recognize His footprints, He method…even His silence! Paul was in prison when He wrote that letter to some church folks he hadn’t seen in 10 years! Having been persecuted, lied about and even physically abused, you can appreciate why he is sounding like he was out his options.
I am thinking that the final answer to Paul’s anguished state came to him like an ‘AHA’ moment! As if he said, “Eureka… I’ve GOT IT!” The verse today being the thing he got! And it COMPLETELY encourages ME! Difficulties, imprisonment, discouragement, signs of the times, and the ‘no light at the end of the tunnel,” leads him to simply say…“IT DOESN’T MATTER!”
I had to smile when I read this story. And then sigh in relief, as I could almost hear Jesus’ actual voice say to me, “Have I EVER asked you to farm vegetables!” It sounds silly now!!! Because it is. But it is refreshing to realize that “I am NOT a FARMER!” I have been called to teach and proclaim God’s Word. Paul was simply a ‘1 THING GUY!’ His circumstances did not change his calling.
Quitting the squash business really IS…an easy thing to do!!! But talking about Jesus??? Now that… I CAN do!
