“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29
“You threw it away?!” That’s it! 4 little words that would come back to haunt me later. It wasn’t even the words that became the problem for me. It was how I said them. I was irritated and hurt over something EXTREMELY petty and stupid. I should have known better…but it was too late now.
I had found a small cache of “Quotable Quotes” articles from old Readers Digests lying in a pile. I remembered years ago how I used to cut them out and save them. After all, I never knew when I might need a good line for a sermon. “Where did you find THESE?” I hollered out to my wife. She replied, “I found them in a box of old things. They were attached to a note to me from your dad.” Stunned, I asked, “Where’s the note?” “I threw it away,” she said.
My dad has been dead for over 21 years. I don’t exactly remember the date because he made me promise to forget it before he died. It irritated him that people would ramp up their sorrow because of a date on a calendar. But a note from my dad? 21+ years later? And she threw it AWAY without my seeing it? I was upset at her. Until she fished it out of the trash and laid it before my eyes. Then I felt stupid.
I don’t know what I was expecting or why. It’s been so long since I have communicated with my dad, I guess I was excited to finally get something. Except… that ‘something’ came at the expense of irritability toward my wife. After all…SHE is to be my highest priority. Even my dad would not have approved.
Thinking back, I begin to rationalize, “it’s not really THAT big of a deal, right?” Except that it is. Everyday, people get irritable with other people. Which might easily be passed off as normal, if GOD hadn’t something to say about it! And the verse today was the source for my discomfort with myself.
There are times that words can come across as ‘unwholesome,’ even when they’re not! To a kid, “Clean your room” may be considered rude when coming from a parent. “Do your job,” from one’s boss, or “God’s Word says to not do that” from a pastor. I guess the way to really know if something said is ‘unwholesome’ is in the intent. In MY case, those words had came out in disrespect.
The incident is closed now. Apologies to my wife for my words have been conveyed. And since I HATE feeling stupid, I have logged this incident as a learned a lesson… one more time. But I just can’t help but laugh. You see, I KNOW my dad. And I KNOW he’d be smiling right now because… his note was not only used…but was right on! No ‘maybe’ about it!