“O LORD, you have searched me and known me!” Psalm 139:1
There I was… like ‘groundhog day…’ standing on a ladder gazing into a piece of rotted fascia board. And it wasn’t just deja vu! I had LIVED this before… right HERE… at this same location some 20 years ago! I had repaired it then, and now, staring back at me, was the symbol of my abject failure! Had I fixed it RIGHT.. it wouldn’t be WRONG NOW! NOW… I need to apply experience with wisdom!
Having lived in the same house for 30 years, I have outlived a lot of things that came with it. A third water heater, new plumbing, another electrical box and now.. painting for the third time. Having been a carpenter years back, I knew how to cut and apply a board. I had sealed it up with caulking and painted over it. But the MOISTURE problem that had caused this rotting… TWICE… dominates my intentions. And it is winning!
It is not a far stretch to use this moisture rotting problem as a metaphor for old habits and sin in my life. Every time I get angry or desire something that had my attention long ago, I am reminded of how weak and frail my flesh actually is. Trying to FIX it is a useless waste of time. It will just come back! I can fix this fascia like I did the last time, figuring that I will be dead before it needs repaired again but… It is a relief to know…God does not work like that!
Did you now that God studies and takes exams! Or… the way this Psalm is written…God, long ago, already PASSED and received His Doctorate! And the field of His study? ME! The 139th Psalm is about ME. How God loved me, made me, knit me, and cared for me. ALL before I was even conceived or born. He KNOWS me better than I can even know myself. He planned and executed my restoration and perfection before I was even a thought… by taking it all my rot out on His own son!
This rotting fascia problem has hit far too close to home for my comfort. Dealing with it AGAIN makes me angry, frustrated, fearful and desiring substitutes that never worked before. I can’t stop it, I can’t fix it, and I sure can’t ignore it! It needs attention… but not mine! I need to go to the expert… and ask, beg, plead, hope and seek HIS solution to this ‘problem of Me!’ It is ONLY in Him that I will receive ANY permanent relief. Thank God He studied ME so long ago that He already knows the solution!! And… He has been waiting for this moment!
